the jump

i saw it. i debated it. i ruled it out. then i reconsidered and reconsidered again. it taunted me-standing up over all the other buildings its giant building way. looking down at me. hmmm. when i got up that morning i just knew i was going to do it. went for breakfast (toasted brioche with whipped cinnamon flavour cream cheese). i didnt even want to look up at it knowning that if i really saw what i was about to do i would back out.
i found myself in the lobby looking at the touristy section, all the things that can be done in the area-interesting. procrastination is a real skill.
gave out to myself and headed down to the sign up area. put my name down-there was a space at 2pm, after lunch, one hour from now. so i wandered around had a look at all of the souvenirs and a promotional video. trying so so hard not to think about it. managed not to surprisingly enough.
i paid up my money, got suited up, went up the glass lift. not looking out the window, not looking out the window.
got all my safety checks done. hello hot safety check boy-ok i mustn't be that nervous. i was edged out to the ledge-moved along and then there i am. me and hot boy hanging out on the ledge looking down at the ground 192m below. i was fine until i saw that. sweet jesus.
so im hanging out the ledge-on my tippy toes hanging on with both hands. one, two, three. what? you just want me to let go? thats it. ehm. it's ok to be scared its natural. dont really know what else he said to me at that point. i looked behind me and saw the whole restaurant taking a pause from their lunch, holding their cameras looking at me, waiting. ok i'll count again. do you want me to push you? no fucking way. then out of no where i just let go. im dropped about 10 feet and stopped. hot boy calls my name takes my picture and then its all me.
horrible, horrible until the wind catches me and i spread out my arms and im flying! and its the most amazing feeling. incredible. and then its over. i hit the bulls eye and im done. 11 seconds and its done. ;
im smiling like a maniac. cant believe i just did that. and then : do you want to do it again for free? fuck yes!
so back up again-just not the same second time around.
unfuckingbelievable.
i reward myself with a burger and chips and the knowledge that i can do anything that i want to do. anything. it certainly gets the blood rushing through my veins for the rest of my new zealand adventure.